Something Stupid
by Vera-Sama
Summary: Nice quiet moments like this never last. Sooner or later, someone always did something stupid to screw it up. Oneshot, and slightly crackish, though not overpoweringly so. Please R and R.


**AN:** I know it's been forever since I've written and posted anything, but I was talking to my dear friend and muse, Avia, earlier today, and this fic idea was born. We've both recently rediscovered the awesomeness that is Rurouni Kenshin, and while we were talking about the show...well, I'm not sure I can explain it adequately, so read and hopefully enjoy. Oh, and fair warning, I watched the dub, so you'll be getting some "That it is," and "That she does," etc. Sorry if you don't like it, but it's what I'm used to, so it's what I write.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, but I wish I did...

**Something Stupid**

It was a lovely day. Not too hot, and not too cold. The laundry was hanging on the line in a warm patch of sunlight, and there was still some time before lunch had to be ready. Surprisingly, the dojo was quite empty, as Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko had set out that morning with their own errands, and wouldn't be back until lunchtime. Dr. Gensai had come to pick up Ayame and Suzume early, and so Kenshin found himself with a rare moment when he could just sit with a nice cup of tea, take a deep breath and really relax.

He had just settled down into a comfortable position with his tea when he realized something. Nice quiet moments like this never last. Sooner or later, someone always did something stupid to screw it up.

** x**

It had started out as such a simple errand. All Kaoru had to do was take her favorite kimono to the seamstress in town, as the last time she had charged head-long into danger, she'd snagged it on something. The seamstress had assured her it would be simple to repair, and told her to come back the next day to pick it up. She'd been minding her own business, really, and hadn't planned on doing anything exciting...but really there was no way she could help herself.

As she was leaving the seamstress's, she saw three large, brutish men picking on one poor old man walking home from the market with his young granddaughter. It appeared they wanted his money, but the old man refused to hand it over. The small girl was crying, and the man looked scared but defiant.

Kaoru pushed her sleeves up as she marched over. She had no weapon, but usually thugs like that would back down if you stood up to them, right?

"Hey!" She shouted at them, balling her hands into fists, and planting one firmly on each hip. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

The largest thug laughed. "What, like you, girlie?"

"Yeah, like me." She insisted. And then she punched him as hard as she could in the chin.

** x**

Kenshin had raised his tea half way to his lips when he froze suddenly. "Oh no." He sighed and set the tea aside as he began to stand. "Miss Kaoru is doing something stupid again, that she is."

** x**

Sano grinned as he cracked his knuckles. Sure, he was out of the fighter for hire business, but that didn't mean he didn't still enjoy a good brawl from time to time. After all, it never hurt to keep one's skills sharp.

Okay, sure, it probably hadn't been wise to shout random insults at passersby until he got them mad enough to fight, but in his defense, he hadn't realized that one ugly guy he'd insulted had actually been a really, really ugly woman...that cried a lot...loudly. He also hadn't realized the fifteen or so men scatted about were her brothers and cousins...and one was her husband, which only proved to Sano that true love was blind...all of whom would want to take up for her honor...and all of whom were quite large and hairy.

Fifteen to one...not his best odds, Sano had to admit, but he was never one to turn down a challenge, and he didn't plan to start now. "This will be fun..." He said as his grin widened.

** x**

Kenshin had barely strapped n his sword and taken two steps when he momentarily froze once more. A different odd feeling hit him, and he knew its meaning instantly. He sighed. "Now Sano is doing something stupid, that he is..."

x

Yahiko wanted to impress Tsubame. Girls liked flowers, right? But Yahiko was broke, so he couldn't buy her flowers, and he wasn't supposed to pickpocket anymore. Besides, Tsubame was a really special girl, and a really special girl deserved a really special flower. He racked his brain for a solution as he walked to the Akabeko.

Suddenly, the thought came to him. Last week he had gone on a picnic with the others, and Ayame and Suzume had spotted some really pretty flowers growing along the side of a really steep hill.

Alright, so it was more like a patch of grass along the top of a really treacherous looking area where a cave-in had caused a hill to develop a steep, if short cliff, that may or may not still have the chance of caving in even further.

Kenshin and Kaoru had both warned it was dangerous, and had insisted that they stay away from it...but that was just for Ayame and Suzume, right? They were little, and could fall easily, but Yahiko was basically grown, and he was strong too. Surely it'd be safe for him to go there, right?

He grinned as he set out into a run for the area with the lovely, exotic looking flowers. It didn't take long to get there, and he was already congratulating himself on the brilliance of his plan as he began to head up the hill.

He was just about to reach down and pluck one of the flowers when he felt the earth begin to shift under his feet...

** x**

Kenshin had perhaps taken three more steps toward the dojo entrance when he froze. A different, but just as familiar chill hit him. "Now Yahiko is doing something stupid, that he is..."

Now he found himself facing an impossible choice. All three of his friends were doing something stupid, he just knew they were, and all three likely needed his help, but since they weren't together, he'd have to decide who to help first, and then help the other two in turn.

Kaoru was probably closest, and so it made sense to help her first...not to mention she was most likely unarmed, and the stupid things she did almost always involved men with weapons. She considered herself a swordsman like Kenshin, but she wasn't on the level with street thugs. They fought dirty, and that was just something she didn't understand.

Then again, Yahiko was the smallest, and therefore most likely the easiest to get hurt...and Kenshin was pretty sure neither Kaoru nor Sano would forgive him if something happened to Yahiko.

But on the other hand, Sano tended to be really, really stupid...it was even possible that Kaoru's and Yahiko's stupid acts combined didn't even equal one of Sano's all by himself. Chances are he'd need the most help, as his stupidity could land him pretty near death pretty easily.

Okay, it was settled, he'd help Yahiko first...no, wait, Kaoru...no, perhaps Sano? And so his thought went round and round, making him feel less sure the more he considered it. For every good reason he could come up with to help one first, he'd come up with one good reason for the other two as well.

"Oro..." He muttered as he stood, wavering on indecision and feeling dizzier with each passing thought.

** x**

Kaoru stared down at where the large man was sprawled at her feet. She'd had no way of knowing he'd been suffering with a toothache, and that her one well placed blow would cause enough sudden pain to completely knock him out. Apparently, his friends were worried she would give them the same treatment, as they instantly returned the money they'd taken, and it appeared some funds of their own, to the old man. They apologized profusely and begged Kaoru, as well as the old man and his granddaughter, to forgive them, swearing they'd change their ways for good as they dragged their friend's limp form away.

Kaoru dusted her hands off and beamed. She didn't need Kenshin and Sano's help, this just proved she could handle anything with enough determination.

The old man thanked her repeatedly, and promised he'd send his granddaughter to her dojo to become a student once she was old enough to do so. The trio went their separate ways, Kaoru walking home with a proud smile and a story to tell, if exaggerated slightly, to Yahiko the next time he gave her a hard time.

** x**

Sano gave a sigh, feeling quite disappointed. He had just been about to dive head-first into the brawl, which sounded more fun the more he thought about it, when the matriarch of the family came bustling down the street.

She was a large woman, and at least twice as ugly as her daughter, which only convinced Sano that the poor woman's husband had to be blind. The only things that even told him she was a woman were the shrill tone of her voice and the surprised echo of "Mama?" and "Aunt Hana?" that rose from the assorted men.

'Hana?' Sano thought with a snort. 'That was a lot of wishful thinking on her parents' part. Weed, maybe, but she is no flower...'

The twice-as-ugly-as-her-daughter woman, Hana, gave the men surrounding San a stern lecture, and insisted that, whatever the reason, her family did not now, nor would they ever, lower themselves to the horrible depths of street fighting. It just wasn't proper. She then pointed a stern finger back in the direction she'd come form, and told them all they'd get home straight away if they knew what was good for them. She waited for them all to file past before following.

'Ah well,' he thought as he began to make his way back to the dojo. 'Win some, lose some, never get to take part in others...' He tilted his head as a new thought came to him. 'I wonder what Kenshin's making for lunch...'

** x**

Yahiko walked back to the Akabeko with his prize in one hand, and one shoe in the other. What he'd thought may be a full blown cave in had actually only been a small sink hole. It had snagged one of his shoes, which he had been unable to retrieve, but one shoe had been a small price to pay for such a wonderful gift. He just knew Tsubame would love them.

He'd gathered a dozen or so of the rare, beautiful flowers, and tied them together with an unusually tall piece of wild grass. It made a perfect bouquet, which Tsubame could put in a vase in her room, or something. True, they wouldn't stay pretty and perky for long, but it was the thought that counts...and possibly the effort, but he'd put a lot of both into getting these flowers for her.

** x**

Kaoru was a little surprised to meet up with Sano and Yahiko just outside the dojo. They all exchanged hellos, and Kaoru asked what happened to Yahiko's shoe.

Yahiko, naturally, told her to mind her own business, and pushed past her to enter.

"Kenshin, we're home!" Kaoru called cheerfully.

"Yeah," Sano added. "What's for lunch? I'm starving!"

"Me too!" Yahiko agreed.

"You two are always starving..." Kaoru said with an eye roll.

The trio stopped their progression when there was no answer.

"I wonder where he is..." Kaoru said with a small frown.

Yahiko continued walking, and rounded a corner, putting him out of sight of the others.

"Hey! I found him!" He called. "And that's a really dumb place to take a nap."

Kaoru and Sano rounded the corner as well, and stared down at Kenshin. He way laying on the floor, perhaps three feet from a cup of abandoned, cooling tea. His eyes were wide and swirly, and various muscles seemed to twitch randomly. He wasn't asleep, that was obvious to the others, as he was muttering softly under his breath.

"OroroYahikoororoSanoororoMis sKaoruororororo..."

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, nudging him gently with her toe, a worried frown still in place.

"Up and at 'em, man." Sano said, leaning down and hoisting Kenshin to his feet. This seemed to help snap him out of daze.

"Oh!" Kenshin looked from one to the next, his smile growing more relieved all the time. "You're all okay! That makes me so happy, that it does!"

"Why wouldn't we be okay?" Yahiko asked.

"Yeah Kenshin, you worry too much." Sano agreed.

"You should really just take a day and relax." Kaoru nodded. "All that unnecessary worrying can't be good for you."

**-The End-**

**AN:** Yeah, Avia and I were discussing how Kenshin always seems to know when one of the others is in trouble, and shows up just in time to save them. At first we were calling it his 'Kaoru Sense', but then we realized a better name would be his 'Something Stupid Sense', so yes. There you have it. Please R&Rm and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
